


The Breakup

by Blowalullaby



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Character Study, Craig is not an ass, Developing Friendships, M/M, Post-Break Up, Self-Discovery, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blowalullaby/pseuds/Blowalullaby
Summary: Tweek hadn't really expected Craig to break things off with him, but when he does, he feels strangely numbs. Until he discovers that he is one, before being someone else's.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Kudos: 44





	The Breakup

**Author's Note:**

> I know I am supposed to write for You Can't Kill That Which Never Dies, but this idea woke me up in the middle of the night. So I had to write it. And rewrite it. And edit it. It took me forever, as usual, but it is finally done, so I hope you enjoy !

They parted way the summer before entering high school.

It was Craig that had asked first. Tired eyes, avoiding contact, and slightly trembling fingers that had taken his, telltale signs that the poor guy had been nervous about it. He had been staring at Stark’s Pond the whole time he had explained himself – that it was not that he didn’t like Tweek, simply that he hadn’t love him, and that they would remain friends, and that Tweek wouldn’t hate him, right ?

Of course, Tweek wouldn’t hate him. He had been strangely calm during the whole display, giving an attentive and reassuring ear as Craig poured his heart out. His eyes were soft and kind, even if he had only said a few words – I understand, it is okay, no I don’t hate you.

They had shared a last hug, Craig had given him a shy, slightly tight smile, and just like that they had been singles for the first time for what felt like their whole young lives.

Tweek didn’t tell his parents about the break-up. Part of the reason was, he wasn’t even sure of how he felt about it. He was pretty confident he, contrary to Craig, had been in love with him, but at the same time, he never really expected Craig to feel the same about him, and never felt bad about it. At least now, he wouldn’t hope for a real relationship with him anymore. He had even kept his friendship. Their complicity wouldn’t fade just because they weren’t together anymore. So, every aspects of this was an improvement, right ?

It hadn’t been much of a problem during summer break though, as it was usually a time they would spend apart from each other – Tweek working whole time at the coffee shop, Craig going to summer camp with Clyde. Tweek only had missed the texts they would send each other on a daily basis, from their traditional « Hey honey » in the mornings to their « Goodnights ». It was like that time when Craig’s summer camp had been in an area where the network was so bad they hadn’t text each other for nearly two months, and Tweek had panicked multiple times at the idea of all the things that could go wrong without and he wouldn’t know. This year though, Tweek didn’t panic at the lack of texts.

He had felt weird, in the beginnings, living in a kind of daydream where everything looked real, while being kind of off. He lived through summer in a dreamy glaze, not fully realizing what it would be like to go to school with a Craig that wasn’t _his_ Craig anymore.

It hit him fully though the first day of Highschool, when he entered the hallway. Craig was there already, waiting with Clyde and Jimmy, and it hit him like an electroshock. His eyes landed on Craig for the first time in two months, and he realized just how beautiful that man was, how soft and warm he knew his embrace was, and that he wouldn’t have a kiss to greet him this morning, that he was now denied the comfort of his arms. Clyde had waved at him, but then Craig’s eyes met his and Tweek had just been frozen into place, until his legs instinctively carried him _away_ , in a place that was safe and secure from Craig’s stare and his unbearable presence.

Tweek had a panic attack on his first day of school, and he had had to deal with it alone. He cried a lot, that first day, as if he knew only now that Craig and him were over. He missed most of his classes, unable to tear himself from his own misery, as of at the moment, there was nothing else in the world but him filled with Craig’s absence.

He knew he had been in love, he just had never thought he would be the type to cry over a relationship that he thought had so peacefully ended.

Craig had been a part of his life for so long... So long he almost had no memories of how it was _before_ they were together. How could he possibly do it ? How would he handle his panic attacks, his social anxiety, his relationship with his parents, school, on a daily basis, without having Craig by his side ? Until then, he had thought that he would still have Craig, somehow, in his life. If not as his fake boyfriend, as a friend and it would be enough. When had he become so dependent on this man ? When had he fallen for him ? This couldn't be sane. Even in what most people thought to be the only thing worth living, Tweek couldn't do it in a sane way...

Being who he was, Tweek spent way too much time inspecting and doubting himself. His flaws, that were too many, his faults, he always realized too late, his features, that were too much and not enough depending on the days… He was in a state of constant nerves, and his twitching and tics worsened visibly, though his parents didn't bother to question him.

Tweek hadn’t cried since that first day, but an empty feeling kept settling in the pit of his stomach every time his eyes landed on Craig. Empty feeling, mixed with longing, and a bit of anger, as if Craig hadn’t taken the time to be kind and open with him about this situation. He knew Craig had told him they could still be friends, that he _wanted_ them to stay so, but Tweek found that he couldn’t have that kind of relationship with him for now. So, when the groups waved at him later this week, inviting him to have lunch at their table, Tweek did as if he hadn't seen them.

He knew it wasn’t fair to Craig, but it especially wasn’t fair to Clyde, Jimmy and Token. They had all accepted him so nicely in their circle of friends, and now Tweek had walked away without a word, as if it was them that had personally hurt him. He saw their look of misunderstanding and disappointment when Tweek had stared right at them, yet felt like he couldn’t just sit there with them without feeling like a stranger. He knew he had been friends with them before he and Craig were put together, but what was before Craig was all so blurry anyway. Had there really been something before Craig ? He recalled loneliness, but that was about it.

So Tweek had sat at a table, alone. He had chosen one that was in the other side of the room, a small one, where a stranger wouldn’t dare to sit so close to someone they didn’t know. For some reason, he wasn’t able to face his back to the group of people he used to call friends. He had sat there through lunch, awkwardly glancing at anywhere but them, yet knowing deep down that the reason he couldn’t face away was because he needed to check if the others kind of longed him, the way he longed them.

It could have stayed a long session of not staring contest, if Kenny hadn’t brutally sat himself at Tweek’s table, startling him. « Hey, can I sit here ? » he had asked, though he was already sat, and that his tray of food was already on the table before Tweek’s own. Tweek had still nodded, as if he had a say in the matter, but Kenny could tell he wasn’t really paying attention. He huffed once, twice, needing him to notice but too proud to actually claim the other’s focus. Fortunately, Tweek took the hint and reluctantly teared his eyes away from his old gang of friends, raising his eyebrow in a silent and politely annoyed fashion.

Kenny, suddenly shy, played with the strings of his parka. “Hey. Thought that you’d like the company.”

“What do you want, Kenny ?” sighed Tweek. He wasn’t particularly close to Kenny. He was familiar with him, because Kenny felt comfortable around everyone and had no real notion of social conventions, but they weren’t friends. They merely greeted each other and exchanged crazy thoughts that occurred to them as normalcy. Yet, it was no wonder Kenny still had the habit of hiding beneath his hood, as he was incredibly easy to read. It was quite endearing actually, and probably played a big part in his charisma.

So, it wasn’t hard to understand that Kenny was hiding something he desperately wanted to share, from the leg bouncing under the table to the unfocused eyes, that held something deep and raw that the lip he bit barely contained. Tweek prepared himself for a long rant destined to lead him around and away from the topic that actually mattered. Kenny also had no sense of how to properly form a speech. He would ramble on and on, yet managed to never actually go to his point, as if he purposefully tried to lose his interlocutor. Kenny was easy to read, but hard to understand. Looking at him, Tweek felt like he was reading a language he knew the alphabet of, but not the vocabulary. Kenny, though, simply asked, with the lazy shrug of a shoulder “I… Do you mind if I stay with you for a while ? I need to get away from the group, a little. And from what I see, it seems to be the case for you, too.”

That was oddly convenient, but Tweek nodded. The opportunity of a distraction was just too good. Maybe he would even make Craig jealous, as most people thought Kenny craved any kind of physical interaction, he could have with anyone. From what he knew, Kenny had never tempted anything with him. But until now he had been in a relationship. His heart both sunk and got excited at the idea that now, maybe Kenny, or anyone really, might try to seduce him. It had never happened to him before. Craig had never needed to, so…

Yet, Kenny oddly didn’t seem to be in the mood for a flirt. He carefully casted his eyes down when Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Butters passed by them in the cafeteria, pretending he hadn’t seen them. As he found this odd, Tweek let his curiosity show and inquired, nodding toward the group. “Never seen you so quiet. Why wanting my company, specifically ? Something happened with them ?”

Kenny shrugged, a casual gesture quickly betrayed by the venom dripping from his words “The guys found out some stuff about my intimacy with a certain someone, and now they’re making this someone pay for it. Oh, and that someone probably hates me now because of them. Well, because of Cartman, mostly, but Stan and Kyle aren’t doing anything to stop him so I blame them, too. I honestly just want to breathe, a little, y’know ?”

Tweek nodded again, not really knowing what to say. He resumed eating, now having to avoid both the four people sitting across the room he still hesitated to join, and Kenny’s lost stare that desperately tried to catch his, so that he had something to focus on.

“And you, what happened ?”

“Craig dumped me, and I don’t want to be close to him nor his friends for now”, Tweek surprised himself saying. He hadn’t plan to be so honest and open about this, especially in front of someone he vaguely knew. Kenny looked at him wide-eyed, and let slip a slithering “What an asshole.”

Tweek didn’t know why Kenny automatically assumed Craig was an asshole for breaking things off with him. Maybe he just said what he thought Tweek wanted to hear, but anyway Tweek felt like he needed more sympathy right now than Craig did, so he didn’t deny him “Yeah. It was quite rough.”

Kenny offered a compassionate smile, and started a hesitant motivational speech “I’m sure he didn’t deserve you, anyway. Craig had always been a cold bastard, anyway, I’m not surprised he would drop a - what, eight year ? - relationship like it was nothing. Guys are just dumb, I know, I am one.” Tweek laughed a bit, and immediately felt shitty, talking badly about Craig. His first reflex was to defend him, to tell Kenny that no, Craig wasn’t an unemotional robot, that he was actually sweet and caring when he deemed you worth of his affection, but Tweek didn’t feel like he had the right to do that anymore. And somehow, he felt lighter, having the support of someone else.

He especially was grateful for Kenny’s support after the rumors on their breakup had spread throughout the school, the town, until it reached his parents. There were many interpretations on their breakup, and the reasons behind it, but all Tweek cared about was that it exhausted him. He even felt a bit of animosity towards Craig now, as if it was his fault he had to deal with all of this, when he would’ve normally blamed people’s nosy behavior. Kenny hadn’t been of a big help, but he had been there, with his casualty, his always opened ears taking in anything Tweek needed to talk about. He knew everything about Craig, and school, and people, and _ngh!_ That was all that Tweek needed of him, and he did his job perfectly fine.

Clyde, Token and Jimmy had each tried to reach out for him several times. He cowardly ignored their efforts. He was both sad and grateful that Craig hadn’t. He wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

Another side effect was that Tweek felt the need to worn himself into exhaustion. The long episodes of emptiness, the free time that had been occupied by Craig until then, had left the urging need to fill the void created. He started small, old interests resurfacing and distracting his empty brain. He looked up some music tutorials on YouTube, tried some melodies on the piano, and spent an unspeakable amount of time sorting out his confusion on any piece of paper his fingers could find. They quickly got lost in the mess of his room, but he felt creative, and productive, yet it was like it was never enough. He started to lose himself in whatever he felt like creating, and the conspiracy theories he still had the habit to read on a regular basis.

Kenny hadn’t made fun of him, when he picked up his notebook from the ground in class, covered of his tight and messy handwriting. On the contrary, he had started to hum along the senseless lyrics, and joked that Tweek should make and album of them. Tweek knew he was just harmlessly teasing, but he had felt embarrassed. He took back his notebook, had shoved it deep in his backpack, and neither of them ever talked about it again. Tweek was naturally distrustful, and not ready to open up about his distress, nor his creativity streaked that stopped him from sleeping. Those were way too close to his heart. As for Kenny, he was a man of a few words, and even when he talked, he’d rather not talk about himself. Tweek was rather sad about this limitation, but he never pushed further. He knew his friendship with Kenny may not last. They were just a support to help the other grow on their own.

Tweek slowed down once he had emptied all that pent-up rage, sadness, confusion he couldn’t quite explain himself. Pieces of paper scattered across his room, he was suddenly unable to write a note, nor a word, and everything he tried felt wrong or false, leaving him in frustration. He had been scared for a while, scared that he wouldn’t be able to create anything anymore, that he would never get over this past relationship, and that nothing would ever last long enough to help him to deal with it.

After a while, it was an immense feeling of freedom that overtook him. The long time he had spent second guessing himself, scrutinizing himself, was progressively replaced by exploring himself. He felt lighter, more open, less anxious, as he was forced to stand alone in front of everything, all the time. He had a lot of panic attacks though, and his therapist told him it was because he was walking across a life-changing path. Tweek wasn’t sure of that, but he felt more attentive to himself, to how he was breathing, living, taking things in, and how he reacted to the world.

He spent a bit more time with Kenny, too. They still had this tacit contract between them, that Tweek wouldn't ask about Kenny's personal stuff. Since the beginning, Tweek was the one talking, and Kenny the one listening, occasionally giving advices and helping to take things on a lighter side, him who didn't seem to take most things so seriously. They found comfort in their mindless encounters. They would spend time hanging out, talking about witchcraft, curses, and making theories. Or they would walk around, lost in thoughts, enjoying silence and the company of another. They never went to each other’s house, though. It was too intimate.

Tweek found that he was now better at understanding Kenny's speeches. He took hints of his real motivations with the way his hands moved, how his hips, his arms, his legs showed the animation behind his words. It really was no wonder he felt the need to be covered, his all body gave away just everything that was going on inside of him. He must be self-conscious, or feel expose. Tweek could feel how conflicted Kenny constantly was about himself, as if he wanted to give himself, give everything away, yet restricted himself because he was scared of the consequences, scared to be told it was wrong, maybe to be humiliated, even. But around him, Kenny seemed to be less hiding than he was before. Maybe because Tweek was just as weird and hard to understand as he was. There was nothing threatening about Tweek.

Tweek assumed that Kenny had fixed things with his friends, since he split his time between them and Tweek, organized according to Tweek's working schedule. But his eyes still had that unexplained haze of sadness, from time to time. He wondered if Kenny would ever open up about his problems to him. If he had ever opened up to anyone. If not, he guessed he would have to get even better at reading between the lines. He had learned to do so on a much more closed off person before.

That thought had him briefly wonder if he was falling in love with Kenny, now. And therefore, if he even wanted to. But he didn't want Kenny's affection as much as he wanted his simple company. Tweek thought they were too similar, yet to secret to each other, for him to even fall for Kenny. He also realized he didn't want a relationship, for now. He wasn't ready. He had to know more about who he was, and what he wanted to do, before he could possibly share himself with another.

He tried out new things, he even took up the high school dance classes that Kenny had once talked to him about. He initially thought Kenny only took them to be in girls’ company, like he claimed, but he soon realized that Kenny also genuinely liked it. Knowing how expressive he was, it was quite impressive to see him let go of everything, get lost to the music, and finally let his body express all the things his words kept mixed and tangled. Be open to the world. Tweek wasn’t near as good as he was. He felt stiff, and awkward, where Kenny and the others were fluid, more comfortable with their skin. Tweek wasn't sure dance was his thing, but his body felt better after each class. It also got him a brand new approach to music he had never been bold enough to take. It didn’t matter he didn’t look good while dancing, he felt good, and free. And with each combo he mastered and visible progress he made, a stroke of pride boosted his confidence.

His therapist was very glad he took dance classes, and indeed, Tweek found out it helped him about his anxiety a lot. It was as if, instead of releasing tension by panicking and tear himself on the verge of insanity, Tweek's body took relief in dance classes. He decided to try some other sports the school proposed, though, as he wasn't entirely sure dance suited him. He was tempted to take box class again.

Tweek also started to write songs again, but it was a lot less obsessive than it was before.

He didn’t know at which moment, exactly, he had stopped longing for his past relationship. But he remembered very clearly the exact moment he realized he was ready to get over it.

They were in Physical Education, and Tweek had to pick among his classmates to form a team in basketball class. Somehow, halfway through choosing his teammates, he found himself meeting Craig’s gaze. Craig offered him the same shy, tight-lipped smile, that he had given him that day, and Tweek realized there wasn’t any unpleasant feeling raising at the pit of his stomach. No emptiness, no ache, no guilt nor pain. Nothing. He held his gaze, he observed his handsome features, his beautiful yet carefully emotionally shut eyes, and he felt at peace. He returned the smile, acknowledging the human in front of him as a pair, a person dear he used to know, but felt no more attached to. Incredibly happy, incredibly relieved, he couldn’t stop smiling as he called Craig to join his team. Craig stood up, and even allowed himself to tease as he approached Tweek’s team. « You better know what you’re doing, Tweekers, as I refuse to lose against those pricks ». Tweek had let out a light chuckle in response.

The moment Tweek knew their story was definitely over, was the time he had been ready to build a new, different relationship with that guy, and felt at peace about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually love Tweek and Craig as a couple, but I guess my brain loves to contradict me. Anyway, I think that a kind of fluffy story about a teenage breakup that doesn't end dramatically won't harm anyone.
> 
> Also, I am not a native speaker, so any mistake pointed out or critic is welcome ! It would actually help me a lot.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it. Even if you are going through something rough, even if everything looks shitty right now, don't lose yourself in that abyss. You are valuable as an individual, and I am convinced that when you'll be ready, you'll find someone to be valuable with.
> 
> Have a nice day/evening/ night, and hope you enjoyed this little story of mine !


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